Friends….how many of us have them.

That tag line from Whodini really says it all.  Dealing with lupus has cost me alot of relationships and the thing is it may be more because of me and not them.  I have used my illness as a crutch, telling myself that I can’t do things anymore because I am sick.  I always used to think that my friendships dwindled because of lupus, but in reality it’s because of me letting lupus dictate my life.  I truly don’t have a girlfriend that I talk to and spend time with.  I have talked about my sister in previous blogs but I am referring to non related friends.  I have no outlet, no one to call to meet for dinner or just talk besides my sister.  Don’t get me wrong no other friendship could even compare to what my sister and I have, but you need friends.  One of my girlfriends recently called me to wish me a happy birthday and just see how I am doing and I am hesitant to call her back.  I think I have gotten so used to being alone it’s difficult for me to reach out and that has got to change. 


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