Paying for it….but is it even worth it.

My nickname used to be social butterfly, I loved to be out and about and I could ease my way through any social situation.  Unfortunately, this personality trait is on hiatus or it actually may be retired.  I rarely go out at all, but after having a recent pity party, my sister was determined to get me out of the house.  She and her co-workers convinced me to hang out for a little while.  This should seem almost a no brainer, but alot of thought goes into any outing with me these days.  I knew that I would get tired and need to rest, this is not an issue when it’s just my sis and me.  In some way I feel like a burden everywhere I go and I don’t want to inconvenience anyone.  On top of that, I have to know exactly where we are going and the parking situation.  Honestly, after going through all this in my mind I am too tired to go.  But, Friday night I made the decision to release my hermit role for one night and socialize.  It actually went very well, I was able to sit when I needed to and didn’t hold up shopping progress.  Then there was dinner and despite it being 30 below 0 in the restaurant, I survived…or so I thought.  Saturday morning reminded me of why I choose to stay in and how I lost my butterfly title, and at times I truly believe to get out and be amongst the living is not worth the pain that follows.
The Hermit.


One thought on “Paying for it….but is it even worth it.

  1. Erika, I love your blog! I have had your blog address on my phone for some time but for some reason I just opened and read it tonight. Keep writing and work on that book! Love ya! Angela 🙂

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