Change has to come

The more I live my life, the more I know I need a change.  I had given up on children and marriage and felt that lupus would be my companion for the remainder of my days.   But, you know, I don’t think so.  I am not depriving myself what I know my heart desires and that is it.  For health reasons, babies are not an option, but a husband, last time I checked, is definately still an option.  I have dated since my diagnosis, but not recently with the worsening of my lupus.  I am not as active but, I am far from dead..I hope.  There is a problem, I don’t go anywhere so unless he is going to show up on my doorstep we aren’t ever going to meet. I have to put down my fear of going out and having people see me limp or use a cane.  These are  my issues that need to be dealt with.  I am heading in the right direction, but it takes time and if you haven’t figured out, I am literally an extremely slow mover.


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