The more I live my life, the more I know I need a change. I had given up on children and marriage and felt that lupus would be my companion for the remainder of my days. But, you know, I don’t think so. I am not depriving myself what I know my heart desires and that is it. For health reasons, babies are not an option, but a husband, last time I checked, is definately still an option. I have dated since my diagnosis, but not recently with the worsening of my lupus. I am not as active but, I am far from dead..I hope. There is a problem, I don’t go anywhere so unless he is going to show up on my doorstep we aren’t ever going to meet. I have to put down my fear of going out and having people see me limp or use a cane. These are my issues that need to be dealt with. I am heading in the right direction, but it takes time and if you haven’t figured out, I am literally an extremely slow mover.