I see other blogs with pictures attached and I am learning the more I blog.  So now you can put a face with the writer and the story.


Changing back to normal

October 12, 2011 was the last day I worked at a job.  I say it that way because I have worked since then but unfortunately without pay.  In therapy, I work, in everyday tasks, I work, so working for me hasn’t stopped and I assume it never will. 

I am in the process of filing for disability and I am now in the appeals process because I was denied.  Denial is the norm for 90% of applicants of disability, so it came as no surprise to me or my lawyer.  In the meantime, I am fortunate to have a family that can financially support me and I am not in a position where I’m pushed to re-enter the workforce. 

But, that can only last so long.  As an adult you need somesort of independence and a sense of my own space and privacy as a woman.  It is difficult because there are days when I do need someone to do simple things like fix my breakfast because it’s to painful to move.  Well I will have to find the strength to do it, it comes with being independent.  I am still a chronically sick person that will need help from time to time the rest of my life.  And I am grateful that I know who I can depend on, no matter the hour or circumstance, they are there for me. As bad as I want to move, I have no idea where the energy is going to come from.  I can barely move from my bed to the bathroom, I’ve gone from bathing everyday to every other day…ok maybe tmi, but I am an open and honest chick, there is no other way for me to be. 

I want a life, does that mean dating, being social, absolutely I miss all of those things.  An even scarier thought is that I’ve forgotten how to do these things.  I am sure it’s like riding a bike, you never forget.  One thing I do know is that I won’t need my dad running behind me holding on to my seat which now is a bumper…..
even though he would if he could.