Heaven or Hell….where am I going???

So, I am a nice, honest, caring, compassionate, giving, hardworking, loving, a christian, would honestly, despite my body issues, give someone the shirt off my back.  But tonight had an in depth conversation with my sister about heaven and hell and where we are going to ultimately spend eternity.  I, honestly, because of what I listed first and foremost in this blog, thought I was a shoe in, but am I??  What truly does it take to get an invite to the ultimate party?  I actually don’t know, but I think it’s alot more than what I listed.  I am all of those things, but, I am not living the life that God has given me to the fullest.  Does that piss him off?  I definately don’t want to do that.  Am I wasting the most precious gift he has given to me, life?  I can remember taking weeks to pick out a gift for a close friend, I knew it was something that she would cherish and she showed such appreciation when she opened it.  Months later while visiting her home she asked me to get something out of the cabinet and right in front of my eyes was the gift still in the gift bag tucked away.  My heart sank, is that how God feels with those of us that simply waste the gift of LIFE??  Tonight I have realized that I want to go to heaven but, more importantly, I want to please God and I want him to be proud of me.  It may sound corny, but it’s how I break it down for my simple mind to understand. I have started to read the bible, cover to cover and it is difficult.  It’s alot of begating and names and I want to get to reading scriptures that teach me things and help me with day to day life.  So, my sissy, with all her wisdom, suggested I start with The New Testament instead.  At the end of the day, I don’t just want to say that I read the bible, I want to know the bible and know Him because I don’t want His heart to sink.


3 thoughts on “Heaven or Hell….where am I going???

  1. You are asking very important questions, and I agree that the Bible is the best place to start. I am also a lupus patient, and at one time in my life hoped that living a good life would be enough to earn me my way to acceptability to God, and to heaven. But, I couldn’t be good enough to deserve a holy God, and no one had to convince me of that, I always knew it in my heart. I had to find out about the greatness of God’s love and forgiveness, and His willingness to reach out and down to me, through his Son Jesus Christ. He opened a way for us to be forgiven, through the door of his own death in my place. His mercy and love are great, and he longs for us to worship and fellowship with Him and accept His great gift forgiveness for our sin. His love letter to the human race, the Bible, speaks of Him from Genesis to Revelation and how He resolved the separation problem our sin causes at the cross. Reading the first books of the New Testament will introduce you to Jesus and his great love for people. When you read, ask God to help you see and understand Him as you search it’s pages. Reading it can shed light on the truths about an eternal creator who wants us to know and love Him. I have walked with my lupus diagnosis for almost 20 years, and with Jesus as his child for almost 40 years. My prayers and best to you as you seek Him. He CAN be found in Jesus! The joy of the Lord is my strength. Neh. 8:10

    • Thank you so much, I have felt my life is not fulfilling me the way it should and my relationship or lack of with God is part of it. I am ready to do my part, I guess in a way I want to “court” him, to let him know where I stand and this is forever.

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