Being single

Can I really complain about being single when I am doing absolutely nothing to change the situation?  I haven’t dated since my boyfriend passed away April of 2011 and I guess I didn’t want to disrespect his memory, but I feel it’s time to get back out there.  So much has changed in my life this past year. I lost my job of 15 years with Duke Energy, due to illness, I had to move in with my parents and on top of that I tore my right knee acl.  Now tell me what man is going to dig a chick with all that and a limp.  It is really frustrating to see women my age successful, independent, and able to rock a pair of high heels and have to compete with that.  It is a losing battle. Don’t get me wrong I have been told I am attractive but, that only goes so far. Yes, I am intelligent, humorous, outgoing, giving, motivated, etc, but if I am slow moving, sometimes with a cane, will there be a guy to look past that to get to know all of my amazing  I think that is why before my previous boyfriend I hadn’t dated in 4 years, fear of rejection for being sick. But, you know what fuck that (excuse my french) I am who I am and I have lupus.  I am also beautiful, wonderful, loving, giving, nurturing and most importantly I am ready and the man that is fortunate to call me his is a very lucky man.