Have you ever felt that something is about to happen. You can’t really explain why you feel this way, but you just do. I am now 40 and have not been on a date in probably 3 years or so. I am actually fine with that because I have had 6 surgeries since 2011, so the last thing on my brain has been dating. Now I am better and my focus is on finding someone that I can grow with and possibly build a life with. I am in a new place in my life, I am in a place I thought I would never be and I feel as though why not, I can have love too. I know it’s up to God, so I depend on him for my happiness. I pray for what I need and want, just being honest, and hope that I am granted my wishes, I trust in him to give me what I need and that is enough. I do want to be married but that is not for me to decide. I have spoken it and He knows I want it. I will carry on doing me, improving me, studying me, working on my health program and getting into a groove to be able to get out as often as possible and not be a fixture in my house everyday. Living with my sis is going well, but it is an experience to say the least. We do things differently and I am a control freak like my mom. But we love each other at the end of the day so it all works out. We do argue about minor things, which is so dumb, but that is how we are. I am so grateful she is here to stay with me temporarily. I just love having her close to me. I used to pray for a husband, wherever he was in his life and the this steps were being made to cross my path. I would always say, at this point he can’t be getting further away he has to be getting closer to me. Well, that was about 10 years or so ago and he hasn’t shown up yet. I sometimes think that maybe finding my true love just isn’t in my cards, maybe I am meant to find true love in another form. I try to focus on that possibility, but my heart always goes back to my soul mate and being granted the desires of my heart. I will do well in this life, be obedient, learn, and love. That is all that I can do. Like I stated earlier God knows my heart and he hasn’t let me down and he won’t, this I know for sure. I am becoming cross eyed I am so sleepy. It is 4:23 am, I have insomnia and it is horrible, but when the sleep falls down on me it hits me hard. Soooooo night night!!