Huh???

May 16th, the  Cleveland Clinic. Purpose: to get a second opinion on my failing kidneys. Dr Wong, young, handsome, witty, extremely intelligent, and very impressive. It was a trip well worth the 8 hours. Since I have been a child, I have loved road trips, especially family trips. Even though my sis was absent, I loved the time with my parents in the car with my pillows and blanket cuddled in the back and them in the front. It takes me back to my childhood and I love it. We will be returning Wednesday for my biopsy. I’m not looking forward to the procedure itself but, the trip up and down, absolutely. At times I wish I was still a child, I wish I could do my life all over. High school, college, my professional life absolutely everything, in order to have a different outcome. To be an achiever, someone that makes her parents proud and doesn’t fail at every single thing in life, including maintaining reasonably good health. I just can’t get anything right.! I feel like a failure all of the time. My family tells me I’m not but of course I don’t see it that way at all. I’m jumping all around in this post by the way. I’m writing this from a hospital bed, my body is  falling apart and I don’t know what to do, the docs don’t know what to do, it’s scary. To hear the words “our backs are up against the wall” as far as treatments go for improving my health is definitely scary but, it’s my reality at this moment and I’m going to roll with it until the tires fall off. I’ve gotten some good news while in the hospital, my creatinine, which is the waste that should not be in your kidneys has decreased since I’ve been here, so that is very good news. Mind you the level should be under 1.1 and my GREAT low level is 3.4 but, we are rolling with it. The funny thing is I’m happy or should I say, I feel a need to be happy and put myself in extremely pleasant situations. I’ve told my mom and sister I want to go out, besides docs appointments, I laughed and told my sis I want to lunch, I want to be a “luncher” lol! My mom and I went to lunch the other day and I loved it, we sat and ate and talked and people watched and I had the time of my life. To eat out isn’t the healthiest choice of cuisine all of the time but to limit yourself to grilled meat on lettuce is a winner every time. It’s 1:01am Thursday and I’m hoping I’ll get out today, if I do my sis and I will go to dinner Friday for a makeup bday.! We haven’t had a sissy date in so long and I’m really excited. I need to go to sleep so the morning will come and I can, fingers crossed, eat regular food for breakfast or lunch and be home by 5pm!!! It’s so funny I’ve been at this hospital so many times I know my favorite meal to order. Grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce tomato pickles onion baked fries garden salad a milk and dessert (gotta have the milk bc the fries are spicy). And I’m excited to be eating it tomorrow, yep, I’m claiming it. It will be on a tray in my face maybe even for breakfast…lol!!! I’m finished for now. I hope all are well and beginning to enjoy Summer, wherever you are!

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