Pregnant or not????

  • There has been so much in the media about the pregnancy of 3 sisters, 2 Kardashians and a Jenner. I am a fan of all three and now they have started joking about it (being pregnant)
  • They are posting 2 or 3 lipkits blue and pink and asking fans to choose.(if they think the baby is a girl or boy) Since the media has confirmed the pregnancies all photos they have posted are conveniently not showing their bellies. It’s as if they are playing with us, their fans. As a woman that can’t have my own biological children and I also can’t adopt, I think it’s cruel to play with the gift they have been given. They have every right to keep this to themselves but, the games and showing apart of their belly isn’t cool. I look at their posts that are on my timeline and it brings me to tears. I’m disabled as you may know from previous entries and my$ is fixed and it’s not a lot. Once my bills are paid I have nothing left. I’d like to get new sheets or a throw but can’t afford it so seeing them with seemingly perfect lives and sharing everything with us makes them keeping their pregnancies secret weird to me. I can see not showing the child after it’s born but their pregnant bellies??? I really don’t even think they are pregnant and will have this opinion until they announce it. With my medical issues, it hurts to see celebrities I watch and follow be willing to share their entire lives and then not really go secret but start playing games with their possible pregnancies. It’s bad taste, IMO.  I know they can’t possibly know how this could affect women like myself and I guess that is why I feel compelled to write about it. Only a handful of people will read this so it won’t go far anyway, I’m sure if it.
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Change has to come

The more I live my life, the more I know I need a change.  I had given up on children and marriage and felt that lupus would be my companion for the remainder of my days.   But, you know, I don’t think so.  I am not depriving myself what I know my heart desires and that is it.  For health reasons, babies are not an option, but a husband, last time I checked, is definately still an option.  I have dated since my diagnosis, but not recently with the worsening of my lupus.  I am not as active but, I am far from dead..I hope.  There is a problem, I don’t go anywhere so unless he is going to show up on my doorstep we aren’t ever going to meet. I have to put down my fear of going out and having people see me limp or use a cane.  These are  my issues that need to be dealt with.  I am heading in the right direction, but it takes time and if you haven’t figured out, I am literally an extremely slow mover.