“My parents have my dog right now and his name is Reece. There is a prayer group that meets a few houses away from my moms house and she was out with Reece and a woman walked up to her and told her she felt compelled to pray with her and Reece. My mom had not told her my dogs name but, my mom very well could have called out to Reece prior to the woman approaching therefore she would know that was his name. She told my mom that for some reason she feels cervical cancer in someone, she asked if Reece was my moms dog and my mom said no he’s my daughters. The woman said I need to pray for her health. My mom told her I had lupus and a number of medical issues and they proceeded to pray. I know the cervix and kidneys are relatively in the same area of the body and I just had an appointment with my gyno and forgot to mention these painful stabbing feelings I’ve been having in my lower abdomen and lower back that I just attributed to my renal failure but, now I’m wondering could it be something else. It makes me so nervous and it’s almost impossible to wait until Monday. Since hearing this from my mom I can’t help but go to negative thoughts in my mind. I call on the Lord and tell the devil to get away from me. I also have a Healing Declaration which has several scriptures promising Gods healing. Despite this, the devil creeps in my mind and I think of not surviving this battle. I ask that you all pray for me as I continue to pray for all of you. Thank you.”
I never posted this because I felt it wasn’t something worth sharing. But, with the recent health updates I felt a need to. I have cancerous tumors on my stomach and GI tract that were found within the last month or so. She said cervical cancer but she was in the correct region of my body. Thinking about it send chills down my spine. I will be having surgery to remove the three tumors next month and the doctors are sure everything will be ok. The surgery is with a scope that is placed down my throat and depending on if the tumors are attached to the 4th layer to my stomach and GI tract another surgery will have to be performed. I’m claiming that I will not need the additional surgery and that is it.
I am not even going to lie, as I lay here in pain from lupus and a throbbing headache. I scroll through IG and see all of the couples celebrating Valentines and I so desire to be in love. With my recent more serious health battles I wonder if I will ever experience love at all. Will I ever hear the words, I love you from a man that truly does. Or will I be asked the question that most women dream of, will you make me the happiest man alive and be my wife? I’ve always wondered what a woman does to get a man to fall that deeply in love with her. Because I’ve never been able to do it. I have a girlfriend that is on her 3rd marriage and in my mind she has gotten 3 men to go to a jewelry store with her in mind and pick out a ring to ask that question. How did she do this? Granted the first 2 didn’t last but that isn’t my point at the moment. I hope it’s in my future, it’s not that I feel as though I don’t have as much time because of my condition but, it’s like my time is running out because of my age. I believe I will be healed in the name of Jesus. I have been reading scriptures that have opened my eyes magnificently to this fact and I will hold fast to this belief. My health far outweighs falling in love and that is my focus, my thought is when put in a situation as in bad health you begin to think of everything that you never accomplished or things that you desired and never obtained. It’s almost as if it maybe to late but, that is the devil trying to tell you that your end is near and accept it and I won’t do that. I won’t allow him to gain entrance into my mind and convince me otherwise. I’m here and I’m here to stay, if I fall in love or not, I’m going to here to live a long and full life. He’s not done with me yet. I haven’t gotten a chance to live out the second part or the best part of my life. I have so much to see and so much to do and accomplish, it’s simply not over yet. He said that every cell, tissue, organ,and system in my body, as well as every thought in my mind and heart lines up with Isaiah 53:5 “by Jesus’ stripes I am healed. I don’t judge how well I am, by the sight of my eyes or by the feelings in my body, “For I walk by faith, not by sight” II Corinthians 5:7. This is what I hold onto and this is what will be my strength to pull me through this. He is with me during this battle and he will never leave my side. So for this reason He is my Valentine, I need or want no other, he has shown me love, devotion, stability, empathy, sympathy, compassion, a shoulder to cry on, and simply been there when I didn’t even realize I needed Him to be. God is LOVE. AMEN.