Love is coming

Have you ever felt that something is about to happen. You can’t really explain why you feel this way, but you just do. I am now 40 and have not been on a date in probably 3 years or so. I am actually fine with that because I have had 6 surgeries since 2011, so the last thing on my brain has been dating. Now I am better and my focus is on finding someone that I can grow with and possibly build a life with. I am in a new place in my life, I am in a place I thought I would never be and I feel as though why not, I can have love too. I know it’s up to God, so I depend on him for my happiness. I pray for what I need and want, just being honest, and hope that I am granted my wishes, I trust in him to give me what I need and that is enough. I do want to be married but that is not for me to decide. I have spoken it and He knows I want it. I will carry on doing me, improving me, studying me, working on my health program and getting into a groove to be able to get out as often as possible and not be a fixture in my house everyday. Living with my sis is going well, but it is an experience to say the least. We do things differently and I am a control freak like my mom. But we love each other at the end of the day so it all works out. We do argue about minor things, which is so dumb, but that is how we are. I am so grateful she is here to stay with me temporarily. I just love having her close to me. I used to pray for a husband, wherever he was in his life and the this steps were being made to cross my path. I would always say, at this point he can’t be getting further away he has to be getting closer to me. Well, that was about 10 years or so ago and he hasn’t shown up yet. I sometimes think that maybe finding my true love just isn’t in my cards, maybe I am meant to find true love in another form. I try to focus on that possibility, but my heart always goes back to my soul mate and being granted the desires of my heart. I will do well in this life, be obedient, learn, and love. That is all that I can do. Like I stated earlier God knows my heart and he hasn’t let me down and he won’t, this I know for sure. I am becoming cross eyed I am so sleepy. It is 4:23 am, I have insomnia and it is horrible, but when the sleep falls down on me it hits me hard. Soooooo night night!!

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I have to say no

July 4th, email from eharmony, it’s a free communication weekend and we have found your match. Ignore ignore ignore, but then my curiosity got the best of me so I clicked on the email and looked at the matches profile. Ok he was interesting & seemed to have himself together, but unfortunately I had to pay to see his picture & I am broke. So we played phone tag but I had had knee surgery and was recovering. So we never actually spoke. So basically, I met a guy online and because of complications after knee surgery I can’t pursue it right now. I let him know and he understood and wished me well and that I get better soon and to hold on to his number. UGH…I know things happen for a reason but wow, my timing sucks. But honestly I am not ready to date and really didn’t expect our interaction to progress so fast. I am getting used to being single and dealing with my medical issues in my own way & it is hard to think of having to share this with someone else. So for now focusing on me is first priority and that is what I am comfortable with.

Birthdays

May 24, 1968, the day my best friend was born.  She is the most caring, compassionate, loving, smart, beautiful, funny, silly person I know.  When she smiles it’s contagious and when she really gets tickled her eyes disappear.  Whenever I have a question about anything she knows the answer, she is truly the smartest person I know, and I know alot of people…LOL.  But seriously, she was made to stand by me through everything, there is no way to know how your life will twist and turn as you get older and more importantly who will be there for you. In a nutshell, never take your present “perfect” circumstance for granted and those that are reaping the benefits, be sure they are the same individuals that will be there when the circumstances are less than “perfect”.