Back for a bit

Moo It’s been awhile since I have been in here and I really don’t think anyone follows me, but it is therapeutic to write down what I’m going through.  I didn’t look at my last post to see what it was about, so this would be a continuation. So I will just start. My kidneys have been up and down as far as function % goes and for now I’m in stage 4 renal failure. Talks of dialysis is still on the table,but thankfully I don’t need it as of now. My doctors also found tumors on my stomach called carcinoid tumors and they were malignant stage 1 cancer. The prognosis is nearly 100% in all patients so my doctor removed the three with no problem. About a month ago he went back to make sure he had gotten them all and unfortunately found two more and removed them successfully as well. I will have to have a repeat surgery in 6 months to check for recurrence. In addition to this, I pave had warts on my backside for about 3 months and I was told because my higher dose of steroids it would not heal and I just had to deal with it. Well, the steroids went down and the warts didn’t get better. I went to a dermatologist and he froze the area and was planning on doing several rounds of freezing over several months. When I returned after a month for the second freezing I told him the area was no better and it was actually worse than before the freezing. At that point he suggested that the best bet would be to just have it removed, it’s a cluster of warts. So he referred me to a colorectal surgeon to get his opinion and he advised me that th needed to be removed and tested. Unfortunately, the hospital he is affiliated with isn’t in my network for my insurance so he couldn’t do,it.  He then referred me to a general surgeon and he is going to perform the surgery in about a week or so, I will finally have this issue taken care of. It’s so weird that it seems like every part of my body has something wrong with it. Lupus affects my joints and my skin, I where issues with my scalp, my ears, my hands, my feet and ankles, my stomach, my vajj, and now my butt. It sucks to hurt literally everywhere. Also on top of that I had an argument with my sister and I have learned from talking to my bible study mentor that we are sisters and the bottom line is we love each other. We will argue we will yell and we will shout but we love each other and I had forgotten about that. I will be seeing her this weekend. I’ve also been staying with my parents for awhile. This hasn’t set well with my sister but the truth is I feel more comfortable here especially when I’m sick. My mom also prefers for me to be here because she doesn’t want to have to come back and forth from her house and my house to help me.  And I have company when I am at home I’m alone and I don’t even have my dog because I can’t take care of him properly. I’ve asked my mom if she’s ready for me to go or if I’ve over stayed my welcome. She says I’m her child and there is no way I could over stay anything, I’m always welcome here. I  love my mom. My lupus has been ok, I think it’s pretty stable and it’s time for my re evaluation for disability and I got a call that based on the information thus far they couldn’t determine if I was still disabled. So I went to see their psychiatrist for a evaluation, I. Not sure if it helped or not but I also had my PCP do a physical so I’m hoping this will help me. If,they deny me my lawyer will step in to assist me once again. It’s scary becaus I have bought a home and all of the bills that come along with that. So I depend on my disability to keep my independence. I know with all of my heart I couldn’t hold down a job working a typical 8hr day 5days a weEk. I would need the company to make several exceptions for me during my shift and this is actually what lead me to getting fired from my last job. 15 years I gave to that place and fired because of something I can’t control. I’m sleepy people night.

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My hero

Beautiful, smart, funny, sensitive, caring, giving, compassionate, loving, silly, are just a fews words to describe my hero.  She is a person that will do anything if asked, it is hard for her to say no.  I have known her my entire life and have always looked up to her.  I am extremely lucky and blessed to have her in my life.  Whenever I need her she is there to help me with whatever I am going through at that time.  I can’t imagine my life without her in it.  She has accomplished so much in her life and at times felt as though, despite her efforts, she would never reap the benefits of her hard work.  But, then a door opened, completely unexpected, to an opportunity she had hoped and prayed for for years.  And she deserves it.  One thing you should know about my hero is that she just considers herself a daughter, sister, wife, and teacher.  She doesn’t expect any special recognition for how great a daughter, sister, and wife she is.  Those things aren’t why she is my hero, it’s because she is a teacher.  She makes it her lifes work to educate the young minds that will be our future.  She is willing to do whatever it takes, big or small if it means the children will benefit.  Her “babies” as she calls them hold a special place in her heart,  and to see other teachers not truly teach is the most hurtful thing to her.  At the end of the day it’s the children who suffer.  It’s about nurturing and loving, but also being firm and showing discipline.  Angela Lynn Couch is my sister and my hero.

Birthdays

May 24, 1968, the day my best friend was born.  She is the most caring, compassionate, loving, smart, beautiful, funny, silly person I know.  When she smiles it’s contagious and when she really gets tickled her eyes disappear.  Whenever I have a question about anything she knows the answer, she is truly the smartest person I know, and I know alot of people…LOL.  But seriously, she was made to stand by me through everything, there is no way to know how your life will twist and turn as you get older and more importantly who will be there for you. In a nutshell, never take your present “perfect” circumstance for granted and those that are reaping the benefits, be sure they are the same individuals that will be there when the circumstances are less than “perfect”.